It was a blazing hot afternoon, a sweltering 68 degrees, in Golden Gate Park wilderness in the heart of San Francisco. Adira, Auristela, Kassiopeia and their pets Fuzzy J., Mr. Cuddles and Fluffy were relaxing in their 14-story tree house with the air conditioner blasting. It was August and their summer vacation was coming to an end. School would be starting soon. They were excited about going back to school but sad that their summer was almost over.

Their SCUA agent parents Wee and Eight wanted the girls to get a head start by reviewing their textbooks for the new school year. The girls pretended to study their textbooks, but they were really concealing their fashion magazines inside. Adira was reading a magazine on Paris runway fashion. Auristela was looking at the latest 40 feet platform shoes from Alpha Beta Gamma. And Kassiopeia was checking out the autumn collection of handbags from Milan.

“What are you reading Auristela?” Kassiopeia questioned suspiciously. Auristela hesitated, but then replied, “Oh, I’m just reading about, um, uh, about wonton mechanics?” (Auristela meant to say quantum mechanics, but she couldn’t remember her physics lessons properly.) “Cool. What’s wonton mechanics, anyway?” Kassiopeia inquired innocently. Auristela panicked, but kept her head. “Oh, wonton mechanics is, um, the mechanics of making, uh, tasty wontons.” “Super! So when are you going to cook these special wontons for us?” begged Kassiopeia. Adira, tired of listening to this silliness, finally chimed in and stated, “Kassiopeia, Auristela, it’s not wonton mechanics. It’s quantum mechanics. Quantum mechanics or quantum physics studies the quantum realm of atomic and subatomic length scales. Seriously, even kindergarteners in Alpha Beta Gamma know that.”

“Unlike you guys, I’ve been reading about Einstein’s E = mc2,” boasted Adira. “What’s E = mc2?” queried Kassiopeia. “E = mc2 stands for ‘Eat = Mac N’ Cheese Squared,” explained Adira. “I’ll use that the next time we order from the menu at Jenny Rocket’s,” asserted Kassiopeia.

Auristela interrupted,“Miss Know It All,” she said, glaring at Adira,“E = mc2 is Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity. (E) or kinetic energy equals mass times speed of light squared (c2). Seriously, girls!”

But before Kassiopeia could make a witty remark, the girls heard an incoming call on Adira’s smartwatch. Their superpower pets Fuzzy J., Mr. Cuddles and Fluffy jumped up with their supercute, supersensitive ears perked up. The girls also jumped up in unison, dropping their textbooks and hidden magazines in the process. The girls stared at each other for a second and then bursted out laughing. Guilty as charged.

It was an urgent message from SCUA headquarters. It was Commander Ralph. School was about to start but all the school supplies had gone missing. Moms all over the world were in panic. Not a single pencil, eraser, notepad or school supplies could be found in any stores, anywhere.

In the meantime, kids around the world resorted to taking their moms’ eye shadows and lipsticks to write and draw and their dad’s white t-shirts to write on. It was absolute chaos. There were lines out the door; people shoving and fighting to get an eyeshadow or lipstick and some went as far as using ketchup and mustard to squirt their letters onto their siblings’ backs and empty walls.

The worst part was that moms around the world were running around without makeup. Others resorted to using food colors from beet, red cabbage, kale, spinach, bell pepper and turmeric to create lip stains, blushes and eye shadows. They looked and smelled like vegetables. The moms were extra agitated, which made the dads super nervous around them.

SCUA suspected Meep was behind the crime. The girls looked at each other. “It looks like we got ourselves another case, girls,” Adira declared. She thought for a few moments, “Okay then, the most logical thing to do is to go to the stores and look for clues.” “Right!” echoed Kassiopeia and Auristela.

Flashback:

It was midnight in July. Meep and Lovey were dressed in black ninja suits. Meep blasted his super baby fart towards the front door of Bullseye, the big box retailer. The force of the fart knocked down the door and the smell made the guards pass out. “P.U.” exclaimed Lovey in disgust, wrinkling up his nose, “That’s gross!” Meep retorted with a comment and shrug, “At least we got in. Wait! I thought blankets can’t smell!” Lovey responded, “Yeah, but I can imagine what it would be like if I could… eww!” Lovey produced a paperclip and pinched it on his fuzzy nose.

“Back to business! Lovey, we have a mission of naughtiness to accomplish,” Meep declared loudly. “Okay, okay,” acquiesced Lovey.

In less than half an hour, the supercute baby villain and his AI blanket had sucked up all the pencils, pens, notebooks, markers, crayons, paints and paintbrushes in the entire store with their super duper suction vortex machine.

Afterwards, to celebrate their mischief, Meep rolled around the floor laughing and giggling with Lovey and his thumb in his mouth. Then he left a trail of half eaten ice cream bars on the floor and covered the registers with extra syrupy chocolate. So naughty.

For the entire month of July, Meep and Lovey traveled around the world in their getaway car, a flying baby stroller, towing shipping containers full of school supplies. What they didn’t know was that their vortex machine would have occasional spit ups along the way and leave trails of school supplies along its path.

The villains succeeded in their mission of wiping out school supplies from all the shelves in the world. They triumphantly returned to their secret hideout in Lake Tahoe.

Fast forward:

The girls flew, with the help of their trusty pilot friend Mr. Binks, to all the stores across San Francisco, Chicago, New York, London, Paris, Budapest, Moscow, Bombay, Beijing, Seoul and Tokyo. They searched the shelves, the return sections, garbage bins, employees lunchrooms, and restrooms. Nothing. Not a trace of fingerprint was found anywhere. Who ever took the stuff wiped out all evidence.

The girls also talked to the guards on duty. They all said the same thing: they heard a loud farting sound and then they were overcome by the worst stench that anyone had experienced. Then they passed out.

After three weeks of investigating, they had nothing. No clues. No leads.

The very next day a letter was delivered to SCUA headquarters. It was an anonymous letter with no return address. The content of the letter read:

“You have until Friday midnight to deliver a box of Rerrero Focher to the fishing dock in Alameda. The unique production number of the Rerrero Focher box must be 6–81131–10932.

If you do not meet my demand, you will never see the world’s school supplies again.

Anonymous”

“I love Rerrero Focher! They’re so yummy! Can I get a box too?” begged Kassiopeia.

Commander Ralph yelled, “Kassiopeia, get a grip girl! We have a budget!” This was a typical response the girls expected from ‘Mr. Cheapo’.

Adira pondered, “Why would this mastermind want this particular box of Rerrero Focher? What makes this box so special?” In order to crack the case, they would need to figure this out.

Kassiopeia asked the obvious question that everyone was pondering, “Why would this bad guy want candy? He could just go buy it.” “I don’t know,” responded Auristela thoughtfully.

Adira noticed something unusual about the paper. It was shiny. Further analysis by the SCUA lab indicated that the paper pulp was mixed with silk. The source of the silk traced back to Chongqing, one of China’s great centers for the silk industry.

Auristela was tasked with finding out more about Chongqing. According to her research Chongqing is a major city in Southwest China and one of the five national central cities in China. Chongqing is the most populous Chinese municipality. As of 2010 census, the municipality had a population of 28,846,170 people.

Chongqing’s industries include processed food, cars, chemicals, textiles, machinery and electronics. Chongqing is China’s third largest center for motor vehicle production and the largest for motorcycles. In 2007, the city produced 1 million cars and 8.6 million motorcycles.

The girls flew to Chongqing, China and found the paper factories that use silk. On their way to visit the last paper factory, a gang of motorcyclists in black helmets tried to run them over. The girls ran through rows of Peking ducks and roasted pigs hanging outside in the open market. Kassiopeia jumped up unto a table and grabbed slabs of roasted pigs and began to smack the heads of riders as they rushed by. Adira took Kassiopeia’s cue and grabbed a jar of preserved eggs and began to launch them at the riders. One by one, the motorcyclists fell to the side.

Adira cautiously approached one of the fallen motorists. As she struggled to pull off the helmet, the entire head came off. Sparks flew. Wires were hanging from the helmet. Frightened, Kassiopeia jumped into Auristela’ s arms. “Get off me, you little scaredy cat!” screamed Auristela.

Adira carefully inspected each fallen motorcyclist. Summoning up her courage Adira stepped closer and grabbed the metallic head. Sparks were still flying out. “Wow, they’re all robots!” said Auristela in amazement.

Kassiopeia stood, shaking with fear, behind Adira. “Creepy,” she whispered.

Auristela pondered, “Why would these robots try to run us over?” Adira thought out loud, “We must be really close to a clue.”

Shaken, the girls proceeded to the paper factory.

The girls met with the factory owner — Mr. Wong. They questioned him about the silk paper. Mr. Wong announced after inspecting the paper, “Yes. This paper was made in our factory. We only sell this kind of special blend online for custom orders.” When the girls inquired about recent customers Mr. Wong scratched his beard. “Hmm, let me think. There was only one customer who ordered this specialty paper in the last three weeks.” He paused. The girls leaned in and urged him to continue. “Who was it?” they pressured. Mr. Wong’s face lit up. “I remember. The old lady said to call her Mrs. RF. Instead of having it delivered she came to the factory to pick it up herself. “What did she look like?” the girls pressed excitedly. The factory owner continued, “She was an old Asian lady. Grey hair, wrinkly face. She wore faded blue button down shirt and an oversized brown skirt. Mrs. RF walked funny, too. Oh yeah! She ordered a bunch of other silk materials from us and said to ship them to Alba, Piemonte, Italy.” The girls thanked him and immediately traveled to Alba, Piedmont, Italy.

Alba or in Latin, Alba Pompeia, is a town of Piedmont, Italy, in the province of Cuneo. It is considered the capital of the hilly area of Langhe, and is famous for its white truffle, peach and wine production. The confectionery group Rerrero is based there.

The modern town occupies the site of ancient Alba Pompeia, the name given after being officially recognized as a town by the Roman consul Gnaeus Pompeius Strabo while constructing a road from Aquae Statiellae to Augusta Taurinorum. Alba was the birthplace of Publius Helvius Pertinax, Roman emperor in 193.

The wines of Alba are among the most renowned in Italy. In the area of Alba, there are 290 wineries that cultivate an area of 1,700 acres of land, producing an average of 61,200 hl (hectoliters) of wine annually.

The girls interviewed the factory line workers at Rerrero Focher. When they inquired about box 6–81131–10932, the factory manager indicated that the assembly line worker that oversaw that production was no longer with Rerrero Focher. Apparently, he won the lottery and was enjoying his life on the beach of Nice, France. The girls flew to Nice to locate this man named Giovanni Valentino.

On the flight, Adira informed the girls that Nice was the capital of the French Riviera. Nice is one of the most visited cities, receiving 4 million tourists every year. The natural beauty of Nice and its mild Mediterranean climate brought the English upper classes in the second half of the 18th century, when an increasing number of aristocratic families took to spending their winter there.

Nice attracted not only those seeking relaxation but also artists seeking inspiration. The beautiful artwork of Marc Chagall, Henri Matisse, Niki de Saint Phalle and Arman can still be found in Musée Marc Chagall, Musée Matisse and Musée des Beaux-Arts in Nice.

The girls found Mr. Valentino lounging at the pool of Hotel Negresco, the famous hotel and site of the equally famous restaurant Le Chantecler, located on the Promenade des Anglais on the Baie des Anges in Nice.

“Signor Valentino, we are working on a case of the missing school supplies worldwide,” introduced Adira.

“Really, little girls?” asked Giovanni mockingly.

“Did you not work at Rerrero Focher in Alba, Piedmont, Italy?” Kassiopeia interviewed. “According to the factory’s records you were on the factory floor when the box with production number 6–81131–10932 was produced. No one is able to locate this missing box. We believe that this special box is a clue to solving our case. What can you tell us about it?”

“It was a beautiful day at the factory…” Mr. Valentino narrated. He told them that he was just working in the factory, producing chocolates as usual. An old lady came in. She was an Asian woman in her 90’s. She ordered a box of Rerrero Focher which had the same unique production number as the one you just mentioned. She paid for the box and left. That’s all that I can tell you girls,” Mr. Valentino finished.

The girls pondered the new found information. Just then, they heard a twang sound. They looked and on a nearby tree, there was an arrow that had just skimmed Mr. Valentino’s head. He screamed and grabbed his head. The girls ran to the tree. A golden arrow was stuck in the tree with a note attached. Kassiopeia stepped forward. “Ooh pretty!” she admired the golden arrow. Then she tugged at the arrow. It was stuck deep into the trunk. She lost her grip, tumbled backwards and fell on her bottom. Adira came forward and yanked as hard as she could at the arrow. She stumbled back triumphantly with the arrow in her hands. She picked of the note and read it out loud, “Stop investigating… or else,” it read. The girls noticed something. There was a peculiar yellowish stain on the right corner. “Eew!” exclaimed Kassiopeia, “What is that?”

The girls took out their porta-lab and examined the stain. They also dusted fingerprints from the arrow. Whoever had thrown it forgot to put on gloves and there was a smudged fingerprint. The team investigated and examined the print. It was super swirly and different from any human’s finger. “Hmm…” thought Kassiopeia, “It looks familiar…” The girls also traced the stain on the note. It turned out to be spoiled milk. Then the girls examined the arrow. It was not real gold, but it was very recently painted. The paint was so new that when the girls touched the arrow their hands got paint on them. Then they turned back to Mr. Valentino. He was still shaken from the close encounter.

The girls noticed something on the ground. A trail of gold splotches from the arrow trailed away. Excited, the girls thanked Mr. Valentino, grabbed their stuff, and followed the trail hastily. It seemed to go on for several meters. Finally the girls traced it back to a strange looking machine. It was a small photo booth with sausages hanging from it and a bowl of tortilla chips, Plankton and Sponge Bob were inside. The girls went in. They heard a loud zap. The girls were immediately teleported away.

When they came out they were in Emerald Bay in Lake Tahoe. “Whoa,” the girls said dizzily. When the girls arrived they discovered some spit ups from Meep’s super duper suction vortex machine. They followed the trail which led them to Meep’s school supply castle at the beach.

The girls entered cautiously. “Meep,” they called, “Where are you? Come out, come out wherever you are!” Meep peeked his head out of a room on the second floor. “I’m going poo poo,” he yelled from upstairs, “Give me five minutes, Ok? You guys can wait in the living room. There’s some milk and Num-Nums on the coffee table.” The girls sat down to wait until Meep was done with his business.

Finally, after two hours, Meep came out. “Sorry guys,” he apologized, “I’m ready to fight now. Loveeeeey!” Lovey floated into the room carrying an assortment of pencils, paintbrushes, markers, pens, and colored pencils. “Choose your weapon,” Lovey commanded. Auristela chose a paint brush, Meep chose a marker, Adira chose a pencil, and Lovey got a pen. Auristela would be the referee. “En garde, pretzel, lays,” she shouted. The matches were Adira vs. Meep and Auristela vs. Lovey. Meep fought on stilts. The super pets, Fuzzy J., Mr. Cuddles, and Fluffy, were summoned to cheer for the girls.

After multiple tied rounds, Auristela decided to think out of the box. She tickled Lovey with the super soft paintbrush. He had a laughing fit and ended up in Auristela’s mercy.

Adira won by using the tip of her sharp pencil to tangle Meep’s hair into a Japanese hairdo and lift him up. In the end both girls had won.

The girls put Lovey and Meep in a cage and teleported him to SCUA headquarters for questioning.

Adira asked Meep, “Why did you need that box of Rerrero Focher?”

“So you haven’t solved the case, huh? I needed to smuggle the stolen 10 carat diamonds back to my hideout. The only way that I could escape detection at the airport was to hide those diamonds inside the Rerrero Focher gourmet chocolate sweet. Dressed in my old Asian woman robot suit, I bribed Giovanni Valentino to hide the diamonds inside Rerrero Focher,” explained Meep.

Kassiopeia inquired, “Why did you need the diamonds in the first place?” Adira intervened, “Don’t you know that Meep needed those diamonds to magnify the power of the full moon to increase his powers? The question is what were you planning to do with your superpowers?”

“Like I said, you haven’t cracked the case, smarty pants! I was going to use my superpowers to bring the school supplies to life. Can you imagine my army of millions of paper airplanes, sharpened pencils, strawberry flavored stickers, and permanent markers? They would swoop down on humans and pester them, that’s what,” cackled Meep as he broke out into his evil laughter.

“Actually Meep, we knew your entire plan. Once we put all the clues together, your evil plan was pretty clear. We also knew that you sent us the letter to intentionally throw us off by sending us to China, when in fact you had the diamonds all along,” enlightened Auristela. “We just needed you to self-incriminate yourself on recording. Now that we have everything on tape, you’re going to get what’s coming to you.”

Meep was led to a secured airplane hangar. Then to Meep’s surprise, SCUA released hundreds of diamond-moon powered paper airplanes. The airplanes chased Meep around the hangar poking him right on the butt. He screamed and jumped every time he was struck by the pointy paper airplane. He could be heard for hours screaming for help. The girls laughed and laughed.

The world’s school supplies were returned back unto store shelves. Kids had the school supplies that they needed for their first week of school. Everything was in order.

Most of all, moms were delighted that they had their makeup back.

The stolen diamonds were safely returned to the jewelry store.

For punishment, to really teach Meep this time, Meep had to clean the boy’s bathroom at Sweaty Jock Middle School. It was so disgusting that Meep lost his appetite for Num-Nums for weeks. Justice was served and Meep was punished.

They were congratulated by Commander Ralph. Adira, Auristela and Kassiopeia were rewarded with free school supplies from the U.S. government.

Tune in for the next episode of Super Cute Undercover Agents (SCUA). Oh, yeah!