“Ugh!” cried Meep, “I’m so bored!” Meep laid on the floor of his jail cell at SCUA headquarters with his legs up against the wall. Meep was arrested for graffiting the Eiffel Tower. His punishment was three months of a raw veggie diet with fermented kimchi.

Meep hated it (but his face glowed with radiance and youthfulness). Commander Ralph would come at breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack-time to deliver the same plate of dreaded raw vegetables. They tasted terrible (but his body loved it.) Today, Meep gagged on raw brussel sprouts. Last night he choked on raw beets. So embarrassing; his pee was red from beets.

As Meep nursed his anger, idly looking at the old-fashion popcorn ceiling, a devious plan began to hatch in his little mischievous mind. He quickly sat up. He glanced around to make sure Commander Ralph or any of the annoying SCUA girls weren’t around. Meep’s mega plan involved lots and lots of rotten vegetables. Oh, yeah! Revenge was going to be sweet. Actually raw and healthy. In order for his plan to work, he needed to amass a pile of vegetables. He immediately scraped off half-eaten Brussels sprout into the cell garbage can.

As the months passed, Meep got thinner, but the heap of rancid vegetables grew and eventually overtook his tiny cell. Somewhere buried within was his bed. He found himself sleeping atop of the mound of rotten vegetables. PU!

After three months, he was finally released. Meep headed straight to Mountain Pike’s Pizza and ordered ten extra large pizzas, which he wolfed down without breathing.

In deep satisfaction, he let out a gigantic belch, “Burrrp!” With his belly full, he waddled his way home to reunite with his sometimes less than agreeable sidekick Lovey.

Meep shared his evil plan with his partner in crime. Christmas would be a time of giving… and they were going to give and give and give… plenty of vegetables in lieu of gifts.

Christmas eve arrived. Meep and Lovey were ready. With Meep dressed as Santa and Lovey outfitted as Santa’s elf, the naughty baby team seated themselves in their flying carriage pulled by a herd of equally mischievous reindeers.

Flying through the starry night sky, Meep could hear the laughter of families celebrating Christmas Eve.

Meep felt sad because he didn’t have a family of his own. But then he remembered that he would profit from switching children’s Christmas candy and toys with his sacks of putrid garbage.

He worked tirelessly through the night climbing in and out of chimneys. At Christmas dawn, covered in black soot, Meep felt satisfied having completed his mission. In front of him laid the fruit of his labor — the stolen presents from under the Christmas trees.

As children began to wake up to open their presents, Meep and Lovey could hear the wailing, rising to a crescendo. Kids cried over moldy onions and broccoli.

Meanwhile, back at home, Meep and Lovey played with their new toys and stuffed themselves with candy for breakfast. “Oh, yeah! This is the life!” shouted Lovey. He was lounging in front of a brand new Mii, playing video games and guzzling down jelly beans. Meep laid on the floor, perfectly content nuzzling his fuzzy blanket and zooming around toy cars. Little did the baby villains know that they wouldn’t get away with this despicable deed. “Here’s to me, despicable Meep!” cried Meep.

 

Tune in for the next episode of Super Cute Undercover Agents (SCUA). Oh, yeah!

Keep reading.

-Mackenzie

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